Betasafe censored version: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/404215/34346949/

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I was reading one of those s*x-life questionnaires. The detailed kind, from the better dating apps. Intimate questions written for REAL men, so they can be matched with women who want the exact same things they do.

And halfway down the list I started laughing. Because I thought of you.

Not one of these questions applies to you. They might as well be written in a foreign language. "How many s*xual partners?" "Favourite position?" "Hottest place you've ever had s*x?" You'd have to leave every single answer blank, wouldn't you?

So I fixed it! I rewrote all 12 questions into a special edition for sexless, touch-starved betas. Same quiz. Very different questions.

Real men answer "*nal, oral, or a bl*wjob?" You answer "kneel, sit, or lie in bed while you hump your own hand?"

Real men count s*xual partners. You count gigabytes of p*rn.

Real men remember their first time. You remember the exact moment you realised there would never BE a first time.

12 questions, answered honestly, in your head, while I walk you through what a real s*x life looks like — and what you don't get to experience. And when you finish, you'll discover the cruellest part of your quiz. Real men send their answers to a match. Yours go nowhere. There is no one on the other end. There never was, and never will be.

Take the quiz, loser. You already know your “score”.

Female Domination Masturbation Instruction Femdom Pov Your Loser "S*x Life" Quiz (uncensored) with C4s.com