I don't know what to tell you Monsignor. I've never seen a case like this.

This pretty lady, a cheerleader at a local college has seemingly been possessed by one or more demons, and unlike most people when they are possessed, she seems to be relishing the possession. She said her name was "Spooky". It's as if the demon and her have become soul-mates, but we know that's not possible. As an exorcist, I needed to get her soul freed from the foul-stenched demon that has taken her over.

At first, I figured the thing to do was tied her down to a bed in the hotel room. I pulled her legs apart. I know that seems sacrilegious, but in this case, the added leverage in keeping her secured outweighed the decorum at this point. I could not be too careful lest the demon open up a portal to another demon to consume me as well. I knew my faith would be my strength.

After leaving her there for some time, the demon kept trying to speak, so a gag was in order. To make the demon uncomfortable, I used a cloth that had been dyed the colors of the rainbow, so that the demon might know of The Lord's covenant with Noah. The demon raged, but this was not going to be able to oust the demon from the lady's t*rmented soul, so additional, drastic measures were needed.

I took out the holy flogger relic you gave me and I beat the poor girl with it. The p*in and injuries inflicted could heal once the demon was purged from inside her. The beating only seemed to make the demon stronger, more enraged, and the demon and lady fought the ropes even harder. I had no choice. In order to save her soul, I needed to use the most effective exorcism tool the Church has to offer.

I brought out the timed Holy Water bomb and put it on the bed next to the poor lady's crotch. It was then that I noticed that the demon had put a message on her panties in bl*ck, "Go To Hell". Well, I hoped that this device invented by the Jesuits would do just that and send the demon back to where it came. I set to go off in ten minutes, and left it ticking between her legs.

The demon raged, as it had figured out what this device was. Apparently the divine scent of the Holy Water was something it could not bear, and the demon used the lady's body to fight the ropes and an to make an escape. I watched from a nearby room, not want to be caught up in the ichor of the demon as the Holy Water destroyed it. But with one minute left from the video, the demon began speaking a ritualistic incantation through the gag. The timer went off, but only after demon seemingly shifted it in time about 5 seconds into the future, after the demon had freed itself from the ropes.

I feared for my own safety and that of my knowledge of the exorcism rites, making sure the demon could not learn of them. I know I should have done more for the poor lady, but this demon was stronger than I.

I have failed you, failed the Church, and most importantly, failed that soul that is still possessed.

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