Tiny Lunch for Giant Boss

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I am conducting employee reviews today. You are a tiny person just sitting and waiting for me to be done with another employee. You overhear me yelling and humiliating the tiny employee then you hear a faint gulp and then silence.

I walk up to my desk and sit-down towering above you. You are petrified with fear because you are so pathetically small so of course I do all the talking.

At first, I don’t know who you are but then it clicks, and I realize you are the final employee to be reviewed. I tell you that the company has been purchased by private equity and had its budget slashed, so we must do some downsizing. Of course, my job is safe, but you on the other hand, well, we will just see about that. With a grin I tell you I’ve done 19 reviews today and all have been “relocated”. I release a loud burp and chuckle to myself.

Moving along, I tell you how such bad workers you tiny people are because you cannot keep up with the work or hold pens correctly or you are just too small and too weak in general.

I pour myself a nice tall glass of fizzy cola and tell you that you may be able to redeem yourself in my eyes if you do something for me. You see, my stomach has been feeling a l*ttle off with some indigestion since starting these employee reviews, so I want you to prove yourself by giving me a soothing belly rub.

I move the table out of the way with ease due to my giant CEO strength and size. I reach over and grab you and tell you to start rubbing my belly while I take sips of cola from my big, tall glass and burp loudly in your face above you.

After a few moments I tell you to stop because you are doing such a bad job. Really you suck at it. Maybe you can help me another way. You see there is something stuck in my teeth in the back of my mouth. This is your last chance to prove your tiny self to me.

So, you hop into my giant mouth and crawl all the way to the back of my mouth. You cannot see anything out of the ordinary, but I tell you to keep looking.

This of course is a trap and when you are deep in the back of my mouth, I shut my mouth close and all you see is darkness around you while I swallow you down my throat with a big audible gulp.

You fly down into my stomach and join all the other relocated employees.

I sit back in my giant CEO chair with my hands over my exposed belly taunting you and poking you while I chuckle and laugh devilishly.

Such a great day at work, I really love my job.

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