"As an adult, I've had several l*ttle irrational fears that prevented me from doing things any normal person should be able to do. Anxiety has been a big problem for me.

So earlier this year when my friend and fellow model Amanda recommended a fetish videographer who pays cute girls to be tickled, I instantly shuddered in terror. After all, I was really... really... RIDICULOUSLY... ticklish. Amanda assured me that Yaqi was a professional and would go easy on me the first time, and that I would have a safe word to use if things got too intense. "But LOOK OUT!" she warned. "He has a way of finding your most ticklish spots."

Gulp.

I contacted Yaqi in and told him I was up for the challenge. He sent me some links to samples of his work, but I only had my phone to access the Internet, and it didn't play video very well, so regretfully, I didn't watch them. I also had never heard of the tickle fetish before, so I had no idea what to expect. I guess I imagined I would have some kind of physical control over this. Like we'd be wrestling, or he'd be chasing me all over the room or something, an idea I now find pretty funny. While I think it would be fun, for sake of Yaqi's safety, it's good that I'm tied down. My body's been known to lash out violently in reaction, kicking and punching at vital organs.

There is nothing that has made me feel more powerless than being strapped down, arms and legs spread, with the crushing anticipation, and the suspense of not knowing what is going to happen next.

Yaqi calmly sat cross-legged next to me on the futon. He gave me the safe word, "Red". He asked me if I was ready. And then, suddenly, it started. His hands reached forward and tested my armpits. Light strokes of the fingertips at first, and then full-on groping and pinching. I started both giggling and protesting a bit, but it was nothing too bad. His smooth fingernails grazed my neck and breasts, not much reaction there.

Next was my ribs and tummy.

Oh G*d. Jackpot.

I shrieked. "OH NOOOO, NOT THERE!" I think I saw a sadistic grin spread across his face - he'd found one of my most ticklish spots. And it didn't stop for several minutes. Fingertips digging in between my ribs and sides, endlessly, as I first wriggled and then thrashed on the futon bed, screaming for him to stop. But I endured, trying not to say the safe word. "No no no no no no" as his hands inched closer and closer to my belly button. "Okay, RED!"

And we paused."

from Lace's journals.

Lace&#039;s First Time

Lace's First Time