I was doing my usual morning updates, and I heard a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone to come by and no one texts me that they were here, so I went downstairs to see who it was. I opened the door and saw two bible thumpers standing on my porch. These men said they wanted to "save me." L*ttle did they know that they were the ones that needed saving. I invite them into my home so they can "preach their good word" and shrink them both!

They quickly realize that they're in their armageddon that ends with me eating the witnesses. Now, usually, I like playing with my food, toying with a bit, but since they smelled of self-righteousness and sweat I already knew they would make the tastiest l*ttle man snack! Their small bodies would fill my craving of man meat since I hadn't gotten a man meat delivery for awhile. I l*ck my chops and say, "einie meenie miny moe!" and pick one. I rais him over my mouth and drop him inside. I could tell he was trying to struggle, but I was able to get him down in one big gulp. Boy did he taste good!

After swallowing him, I look at his friend. I could tell this preacher man was terrified by what he just witnessed. I bet he never thought that trying to deliver magazines and the "truth" would lead to his being eaten by a witch. I am pretty sure he thought S*tan was controlling me. There is one thing about fear. I find my man meals taste much better when they're scared. Something about those chemicals flowing through their bodies makes their meat divine.

I couldn't wait any longer. I had to eat the last one right then. I knew the other "step-brother" was ready to meet his maker in the pit of my stomach, so I opened my mouth and gobbled him down. G*d's evangelists are tasty. Maybe I can eat some Mormons next!

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