Hot girls always get what they want. It’s so easy to manipulate powerful men with our pretty faces and perfect bodies. Especially rich business men. So is it any shock to you I managed to talk your boss into giving me your position and firing you? I mean... look at me. He would much rather stare at my long legs, heels in a tight tank top and mini skirt, than look at your geeky face. Ha Ha ha!

Hey You!

Big day today eh? Boss is here.

So let me ask you something, before you head in there and pitch your case to those big powerful men. Those alpha titans who built this company from

The ground up through manly sweat and tears.

Let me ask you - are you cut from the same cloth as them. I mean... you don’t look like it to me. Your suit is cheap as f*ck. Your shoes are scuffed and make you look poor. Don’t even get me started on that haircut and skin care treatment you’re so clearly lacking.

You’re a loser.

There. I said it. Probably the first time you’ve heard it - but definitely not the first time you’ve realized it. You’re a loser. You’re the opposite of that. You’re not leadership material. No one wants to follow you. No one believes in you.

I— on the other hand— am a G*d. I am unstoppable. I’m going to own this company one day. And I’m going to do it with the help of l*ttle losers like you bending over backwards to make sure I rise through this company without ever having to lift a finger.

So let’s get started today, shall we? I know you’ve spent months and months on this presentation, but I’ve actually got an even better one for you to use!

That’s right, loser. This pitch was something I threw together in the car ride over. Sure it’s a few pages shorter than yours and written on the back of a napkin... but I’m sure with your gusto you can turn it into something seriously incredible that these executives will remember for the rest of their careers haha

Now remember, when the big men upstairs obviously turn you down for your big promotion, they will need to find someone to take your place instead. This is where I come in.

You’re going to praise Me. You’re going to nominate me to take the position and ask these alpha titans that you become my personal secretary instead. I will allow you to do this on two conditions: firstly, half of your paycheque will be Mine. Secondly, you will take a full time barista course to learn how to make the perfect cup of coffee.

I know you’re hesitating, loser, but I promise you this is the one and only future you have in this company, so there is no chance in resisting it. Just stare at my perfect boss Tits - and give away the career you worked for, but I earned. That’s a good boy, I promise to be the hardest boss you’ve ever had...

But oh so worth it.

Oh, is it time? Good luck, loser. Don’t forget your presentation!

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