Includes: Ivy Wolfe, Chad White, creampie, c*m sh*t, cameo with Scarlett Sage

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My relationship with my best friend Scarlett has been a l*ttle tense ever since she set her sights on my stepdad. She's not the only one who wants him either, her step-mom has been calling on him for every l*ttle h*ney do project she can think of. It drives me insane that Scarlett's b*mbo blonde step-mom, with bolt-on tits is throwing herself at him. I've had it! I'm separating ties with Scarlett and I've got to figure out a way to keep him home with me. A melody plays from my purse, it's my phone ringing, I look at the screen to see Scarlett's image. Ugh. I answer it.

Scarlet drawls in her Southern California accent, "hey b*tch"
Ivy, "No, YOU'RE the b*tch.. or maybe a sl*t just like your step-mom. Why were you trying to flirt with my step-dad?"
Scarlet rolls her eyes, "I told you before I think your step-dad's hot. I mean, I don't get why you won't let me have a chance with him? I thought we were best friends"
Ivy, "He's too old for you, it's..... gross"
Scarlet, "Are you kidding me? Every girl at our senior class wants to nail him. Your step-dad is the hottest guy in town, easy.. I don't care if he's forty-whatever.."
Ivy, "If you cared about me at all, you would leave him alone. I am not comfortable with you stripping off your top in front of my step-dad"
Scarlet, "your step dad, not even your biological step-dad. I don't know why you get so emotional- Ivy interrupts
Ivy, "It's surreal, like some cheap joke, or a bad dream I haven't waken up from.. you're going to end up exactly like your step-mom"
Scarlet, "Careful.."
Ivy, "I thought you were different than her. I've known you since kindergarten, how many times did we laugh at how slutty and desperate she acts around teachers, neighbors, and remember Step-Father Matthews"
Scarlet, "I may have thought it was gross that my step-mom was 'sexually adventurous' when I was y*ung, but now that I'm mature, I think she's kind of hot. My step-mom's sexuality is powerful. You don't think it's hot as f*ck that she seduced a priest, a man who vowed to remain chaste for G*d?"
Ivy empathetically, "No, I really don't. I think it's sad. And listen, we should be friends.. let's not be mean to one another. I don't care if you want to be sexually adventurous, if that's what you want to c*ll it, but please just leave my step-daddy alone."
Scarlet, "omigod.. I'm getting it now, it's all becoming cryst*l clear to me.. You want to f*ck your step-daddy."
Ivy, "what?!"
Scarlet, "you're in love with your Step-Dad. All the pieces are fitting together."
Ivy, "What are you talking about?
Scarlet, "even when your step-mom it was as if you were relieved. You thought of her as competition, didn't you? All that constant talk about how great your step-dad is, how he's your hero.. this is some crazy Freudian Ivy. You don't want anyone to have him because you want him"

Watch the story unfold...

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