The best thing about loser ex boyfriends is that they give such perfect material for humiliation! Yes, I am the Queen of making you cry, but this one happens to have that nice personal touch. I'm sure MANY of you will find that this h*ts a l*ttle too close to home. It should make you reevaluate your approach to life and your entire self-worth. That's because your sense of worth is a lie. It's weak. It's small.

Like your d*ck.

Oh, the ways you losers try to compensate for it - the most pathetic of all is when you carefully orchestrate your social circle to make you feel like a big man, when all you're doing is surrounding yourself with tiny kiss-*ss fish to create a small pond. Doesn't that make you feel big? Don't worry; we can see right through you. That's why you can't attract strong, quality people or women. The good ones know better. That's what grown-up losers do: They couldn't sit at the cool table in school, so they become cowardly assholes. They can't please a woman in bed, so they surround themselves with who will believe anything, and they beg for compliments from anyone who will stroke their fragile ego. Look at you: Doing all of those things, now that you're middle aged! I mean, the least you could do is learn to give halfway decent oral.

Face it: you're going to end your days alone, with a full bank account and fake "friends" who are there because you bought them. Oh yes, I'll enjoy that money, the empty gifts that you'd hoped would distract me from your shortcomings and deep-down lonely misery, but all the money you could ever earn will never be enough to make me respect you.

Or f*ck you.

That's nasty. Let me tell you how BIG my life is, once I realized that I didn't have to pretend to pity and compliment your delusional l*ttle itty bitty self-loathing wiener anymore and dumped it. I wanted to leave you for so long, and every time I said I wanted to leave, you begged me to be patient with you. ..I felt so bad for you. How st*pid I was, to lose out on all that time I could have spent getting a head-start on enjoying life with a real, confident, genuine, heavy-packing somebody with something to offer other than big fat lies and l*ttle tiny pumps. No wonder you tell all those lies about me; the truth is just so embarrassing.

Small Man - iPHONE